Decisions, Decisions

So, now I had some decisions to make. Like most people faced with a big life changing decision, I spent a lot of time pacing the apartment and talking to myself.  Eventually I got tired of mumbling things like, "on the other hand..." and "but if I...." and I made a chart.

Funny thing about charts, even with everything all laid out in front of you like that, it didn't really get me any closer to making a decision.  So, I decided to call my buddy Suleiman to ask him for some advice and to see what he thought.  I knew he would of course be pulling for the medical and dental school that he had put me in touch with, but by now,  I also kind of thought of him as a farther type figure and thought maybe he could tell me objectively what he thought.

So I called him and told him about the other offer and asked him what he thought.  He started off being pretty nice about it.  He listened to me explain the new company and asked about the owner and a few other questions about the set up etc...  Then he told me that based on the last name of the Owner of the company, I should not work there.  I asked him why and he said that the man was not really Saudi, that that family name is Egyptian.  I asked how he knew and he told me that family only came to Saudi two or three hundred years ago.   Since they were originally Eqyptian, they couldn't be trusted.   I laughed a little at this until I realized that he was serious.

I told him they had accommodations in the DQ, and pointed out that I had gotten to see the school and the apartment, but that I still had never seen where I would live or teach at the medical or dental school.  He told me they would give me a furnished apartment much like the one I was staying in now.  He also told me that if I wanted to be in a compound, Al Farabi would move me into a compound as soon as they hired a few more western teachers.  I was thinking to myself that I would believe it when it actually happened.  I asked him again if maybe they could show me the housing the next day and he told me he would try to arrange it.  I pointed out that I had been asking to see the housing and the classrooms for two weeks, and they hadn't gotten back to me and that this didn't bode well for the organizational skills.  I also hadn't gotten a written offer yet, only verbal offers.  He assured me that that two could be taken care of tomorrow.

When I told him I thought the teaching would be better, 15 students per class instead of 40 and that I think I could do more good at that school, I could see his patience was wearing thin.  He told me that they clearly needed teachers at  the medical college since they had such big classes, and the classes would be smaller when they split them up to divide them among the new teachers.

I told him I would think about everything he said, but that I still couldn't make a decision.  I needed to see the school and the written offer first.  He told me that I was being very ungrateful after all the work he had done to get me the interview and bring me to Riyadh.  I thanked him, but reminded him that I never said for sure I would take the job, only that I would go to the interview, and that if it hadn't worked out I would just go home.  I reminded him that I would never have needed to apply for other jobs if the medical and dental school had sent me a written offer.  But it had been 2 weeks now and I had to do something to fill my time.  It wasn't that I was ungrateful, but I was used to taking care of myself and working to solve my own problems, so I had learned how important it was to have more than one plan.

He told me I was ungrateful.  I told him I was very grateful, but I had to think about what was best for me. Then he told me that he would tell education experts not to transfer me to them since he had done all that work to get them out of the trouble they were in over my visa.  He told me that essentially, he was my sponsor now and basically, he wouldn't allow me to transfer to anyone other than the medical school.

This made me angry, mostly because I had thought Suleiman was helping me because he was a nice guy and genuinely wanted to help, but now it became clear that all along, he was really thinking of lining his pockets.  My old company had paid him for his help in clearing me and the five other girls who had the same visa issues, and now, I was sure the medical college was going to give him some kind of recruitment fee.  I was disappointed, hurt, and frustrated.  His attitude was just one more negative in the medical college chart.

I told him again that I was grateful for all his help and told him I would call him tomorrow and let him know my decision.  Then I spent all night making, unmaking, and remaking my decision, until, eventually, still undecided, I went to sleep.