Excuses, Excuses

Well, the first week of classes are behind me, and I have to say, these girls work hard at finding ways not to work hard.  I've dedicated this blog posting to all of the excuses I got in the first week alone.

On being late:

•  "Teacher, my driver was late!" (this excuse was used even during the final period of the day, when the students had already been at school since 8am).
• "Teacher, I had to go to the bathroom." (and didn't have time to do it during the 30 minute break)
• "Teacher, I was with another teacher." (later consultation with said teacher proved this to be false)
• "Teacher, I was eating." (I allow them to eat in the classroom provided they clean up after themselves - but after I made one girl throw away an empty bag of chips she had thrown on the floor, even after she insisted that that was what the maids were for, very few girls brought food in the class).
• "Teacher, I was doing my homework."
• "Teacher, I had to go to my locker."
• "Teacher, I had to get my wifi/phone/charger/book back from my friend."
• "Teacher, I didn't know what time it was."
• "Teacher, I'm only 5 minutes late." (and by this she means 5 minutes late after the 10 min. grace period)
• "Teacher, we were just talking in the hallway, we were just outside class, only 5 meters away! We were almost in the room!"

And by far the most common response when I told a girl she had arrived late:

• "Teacher? Why, teacher?"  followed by; "Please, teacher?" in a pouty voice.

The obsession with not being late (on paper, but not in practice) stems from the requirement that they have a 90% attendance rate or they automatically fail.  Lates = half an absence.  Most girls have this down to a science and are absent /late twice exactly 6 times in a semester (because 7 = automatic fail).  Now, don't be misled, they are actually absent much more frequently, but so long as they provide a doctors note, the absence doesn't count.  These doctors notes are probably only legit about 10 percent of the time, and since they are all in Arabic, and usually use Hijri dates, are basically impossible for me to decipher, so I usually just accept them all regardless.  Occasionally, I will get a doctor's note in English, and my all time favorite excused a girl from three days of classes for "Dizziness & Giddiness."  I wish I could have kept it.  I would have framed it.

On not doing homework:

• "Teacher, I left my book at school."
• "Teacher, I didn't know we had to."
• "Teacher, my book is different." (which is actually true, but only some pages have minor changes - like names, or not mentioning things like bacon or dating)
• "Teacher, the other class didn't have to do it."
• "Teacher, I was late yesterday." (nevermind the homework is written on the board all through class for those who finish classwork early, mentioned allowed at the end of class, and sent to the "whatsapp" group each day.)
• "Teacher, I forgot."
• "Teacher, it was too much." (usually about a workbook page and a half.)
• "Teacher, it was too hard." (completely legit for some of the weaker students, but those were not the ones who used this excuse, and I'm always available by whatsapp for help.
• "Teacher, it was too boring."
• "Teacher, I didn't have a pen."
• "Teacher, there was a good movie on TV last night."
• "Teacher, we had a big project for another class."

The funny thing about homework is, it only counts for 5 percent of their total grade.  Which means students could potentially never even do the homework and still have an A.    Even though the students know this, they are obsessed with points and will go through great lengths to try to hid the fact that they didn't do the homework, such as passing workbooks up or to the side, after I pass by a row, or covering the page with their hand or elbow so that only the one completed exercise shows.  Since some students only have photocopied versions of the book and workbook sometimes they will just photocopy another student's completed workbook page, thinking I won't notice that the answers aren't written in ink or pencil.  Once they got wise to the fact that I was looking that closely, some of them tried the same trick, but traced over the photocopied answers with pen.  This was obvious, but I let them go on thinking I didn't notice because at least then they were tracing English words, which means they were getting some kind of practice in anyway.

On not doing classwork:

• "Teacher, we know it already." (then when given a pop quiz, everyone fails).
• "Teacher, why?"
• "Teacher, we don't want to move." (a favorite excuse for group work)
• "Teacher, let me work with her  / I can't work with her." (usually this is just a very flagrant version of mean girls, but sometimes it has deeper roots, with tribal rivalries or shia / suni conflicts.)
• "Teacher, I'm too tired."
• "Teacher, I don't have a pen / paper / book."
• "Teacher, can I go to the bathroom / cafe / hallway?"
• "Teacher, can I call my mother/father/driver?"
• "Teacher, I'm on my period, I can't."
• "Teacher, I have a headache/backache/toothache."
• "Teacher, I didn't sleep last night."
• "Teacher, It's not in the book."
• "Teacher, class is almost over." (usually when we still have 30 minutes left.)
• "Teacher, I hate this."
• "Teacher, can you do it for me?"
• "Teacher, can we play a game instead? (and then when we play a game - usually if they are on the loosing team...) "Teacher, can we do exercises from the book instead?"

Funny that in all these excuses, I never heard the one that was probably most often true, which was that they didn't understand.  Saudis are very reluctant to admit that they don't know everything, and are not fond of making mistakes, particularly in public.  Since learning a language in a classroom setting pretty much means making mistakes a lot in front of your friends, very few girls enjoy the process, and most say they hate English class. 

I'm doing what I can to make it more fun, and I hope that they will eventually come around and start liking English just a little more...  it's certainly been entertaining for me listening to all their excuses.